Bill Maher-certainly not a pussy
I love Bill Maher. Here's another transcript of a new rule i was talking about a few days ago...
New Rule: And this is the hardest New Rule I have ever had to deliver, and I know a lot of you aren't going to like this, but here it is. Let Bush win! [laughs] I'm sorry. I know it's terrible to say that. But like every other swing voter in America, I got to think about the issues that are important to me. And to me the most important issue is... having an erratic jackass in the White House! [laughter]
"Rocky 3" isn't any good if he doesn't have Mr. T to fight with. [laughter] A satirical tackling dummy like George Bush doesn't grow on trees. [laughter] Without Bush, who will America's schoolchildren have to look down on? [laughter] [applause] And folks, this isn't just me, you might ask yourselves, without George Bush around, where does the hate go? [laughter]
Folks, I see the catharsis in a live audience every time I ridicule our president when I do my stand-up on the road â as I will be Friday, November 12th, at Eastern Michigan University in Ypsilanti. [applause] A hate, like Bush, only comes once in a lifetime. And when it walks through the door, you grab it and hold on tight, and never let it go. [applause] Without George Bush, my job will be... hard. [laughter] [applause]
It'll be hard work! I'll have to search both internets. [laughter] [applause] Therefore, for the next three weeks, I will be formally working for the re-election of the president, who I probably have been too hard on anyway! I mean, come on, we all make mistakes! [laughter] Who amongst us hasn't bombed the wrong country, or [laughter] united the world against us. We're all human!
We try to learn from our mistakes by never acknowledging them, and then moving on. [laughter] [applause] So... [cheers] So, come on, liberals! Join me in getting behind... George Bush. Huh? Aw, come on, let's stay the course! [laughter] The world is safer without Saddam, you can't deny that one! [laughs] Flip-flopper, he's a [laughing] flip-flopper.
All right, it's lame, but... but what about values? Real estate values? [laughs] Please! [laughter] People! I have a mortgage, okay?: I have a family to feed. Not a family, but people who call me daddy, it's the same thing. [laughter] [applause] What do you want from me?! Do you want me to say it out loud? Fine! I'll say it! I need George Bush! [laughter] Please let him win this election. If for no other reason than for once in his life, he should have to clean up his own mess! [applause] Thank you very much.
New Rule: And this is the hardest New Rule I have ever had to deliver, and I know a lot of you aren't going to like this, but here it is. Let Bush win! [laughs] I'm sorry. I know it's terrible to say that. But like every other swing voter in America, I got to think about the issues that are important to me. And to me the most important issue is... having an erratic jackass in the White House! [laughter]
"Rocky 3" isn't any good if he doesn't have Mr. T to fight with. [laughter] A satirical tackling dummy like George Bush doesn't grow on trees. [laughter] Without Bush, who will America's schoolchildren have to look down on? [laughter] [applause] And folks, this isn't just me, you might ask yourselves, without George Bush around, where does the hate go? [laughter]
Folks, I see the catharsis in a live audience every time I ridicule our president when I do my stand-up on the road â as I will be Friday, November 12th, at Eastern Michigan University in Ypsilanti. [applause] A hate, like Bush, only comes once in a lifetime. And when it walks through the door, you grab it and hold on tight, and never let it go. [applause] Without George Bush, my job will be... hard. [laughter] [applause]
It'll be hard work! I'll have to search both internets. [laughter] [applause] Therefore, for the next three weeks, I will be formally working for the re-election of the president, who I probably have been too hard on anyway! I mean, come on, we all make mistakes! [laughter] Who amongst us hasn't bombed the wrong country, or [laughter] united the world against us. We're all human!
We try to learn from our mistakes by never acknowledging them, and then moving on. [laughter] [applause] So... [cheers] So, come on, liberals! Join me in getting behind... George Bush. Huh? Aw, come on, let's stay the course! [laughter] The world is safer without Saddam, you can't deny that one! [laughs] Flip-flopper, he's a [laughing] flip-flopper.
All right, it's lame, but... but what about values? Real estate values? [laughs] Please! [laughter] People! I have a mortgage, okay?: I have a family to feed. Not a family, but people who call me daddy, it's the same thing. [laughter] [applause] What do you want from me?! Do you want me to say it out loud? Fine! I'll say it! I need George Bush! [laughter] Please let him win this election. If for no other reason than for once in his life, he should have to clean up his own mess! [applause] Thank you very much.
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