Low Expectations

So, rarely does an article get written that galvanizes all my thoughts so well...



an article from alternet.org, an alternative news source not controlled by rupert murdoch (and yes, there is a right wing conspiracy)... you can find the article http://www.alternet.org/election04/20022/...but i'll give u the gist of it.

Bush is not winnign the campaign by beating Kerry, he's winning by doing better than expected...quite a standard to hold the LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD TO.

anyhow, here are some points made as to what it's time to hold Bush accountable to.

Standards like truth. Coherence. His actual record in office. An ability to go beyond scripted sound bites. Some connection between the dreamscapes that his PR people paint for him, and the cruel reality on the ground that his policies have helped to create.

Or how about:

For instance, can the man who would be Churchill tell the truth? Can he explain how an attack on a nation with no WMDs that was not involved in the 9/11 attacks somehow boosted the war on terror? Can he tell us how we're going to get out of his quagmire in Iraq? Should he be allowed to get away with reciting some truism about "turning the corner" rather than confronting our net loss of a million jobs, stagnant wages, and growing trade deficit?

Will his promises on the budget deficit be measured against his record in squandering the Clinton surplus? Will his tough-guy talk about terrorists be matched up against his failure to follow through on bin Laden? Will the media ask him if he believes that Armageddon will happen soon, and is that belief influencing his Middle East policy?

Will they ask him how it is that his Administration could be warned in early August that al Qaeda was going to attack inside the United States, and yet more than a month later, still not be able to defend the Pentagon? What could explain such a massive display of incompetence?

And what does it mean that he can find the time to drop in on soldiers and National Guard reserves being sent off to Iraq, but he has never been able to find the time to show respect for our fallen, to show respect for their families, by attending even one funeral of one soldier killed in Iraq? Not one, out of more than one thousand killed.


I am scared at what will happen to our world, when it is run by a group of fundamnetalist christians who are convinced that a majority of the people in their own coutnry are going to hell for not believing the same as them...who are so sure and steadfast in their approach and thoughts that they would never allow a second thought in there, a shred of doubt.

It might be time to move to switzerland...but then again, if the terrorists hate us for their freedom, then we may get blown up there too...

the unwritten rule of the bathroom

Men care about community. We like to be buddy buddy and shoot the shit.

But one of those places where we just don't communicate, and pretty much just keep to ourselves is the bathroom. Ok the urinal is one thing, it's ok to look a man in the eye while he's peeing, so long as you keep your eyes focused up. (this is dangerous when dealing with supervisors and partners of your firm). But when it comes to the toilet, it's a whole new ballgame.

It seems when you have to do #2, you keep to yourself. Men dont wnat to know who is behind the door and they certainly dont want to think of another man pooing...Like if you're in the bathroom and waiting to go, and you hear the sounds of flatulance, or another man going "oh god..." or grunting, it's better to never know who that man actually is.

I've also noticed that after a man leaves the toilet, no one is to look him in the eye. Like, "i've just desecrated this lavatory and let's not acknowledge that i was the cause of it." This is probably even more so for women in their bathrooms.

Thoughts for this morning...talk amongst yourselves...

I could catch a monkey

I could catch a monkey. If I was starving I could. I’d make poison darts out of the poison of the deadly frogs. One milligram of that poison can kill a monkey. Or a man. Prick yourself and you’d be dead within a day. Or longer. Different frogs, different times.”

That would make this day more interesting...it's been dead today, i'm literally climbing off the walls...


went home for lunch, came back to work...that's about all i have to offer today...

He-Mat and the masters of the universe

So all kinds of events in the farb universe.

I won my first poker tournament! Was down by a lot, but somehow pulled it out. The secret? Don't play...I played the first 4 hands of the tournament and had to buy back in, and didn't win a hand until there were only 4 people left. then i took over.

I was at work until 10 pm last night...but that's ok, b/c my eczema creme has no steroids in it!

Yom kippur awaits...no services for me, so maybe i am going to hell?

My fantasy team is good, but missing a solid running back...

that's about all...

oh yes, and my old roommate JS, scumbag at large, has started calling and emailing me again. For a guy who was my best friend and turned into a huge scumbag, i'm really at a loss for what he would want...except that maybe he has no other friends...but i do hear th ebackstreet boys are hiring look a likes...

Chikara Ahoy!

So after giving up a weekend and writing at Starbucks, the Client loves the idea! The use of symbols that are foreign is always dangerous, for instance i told the client it meant power, it really meant "i love anal sex with fans."

So you know how they say every weekend is someone else's birthday? In october it is true!

I have

emily's wedding
mike's wedding
josh's birthday
1 year anniversary

oh...and my pet iguana nelly is also 3 months old...got to get her some bling bling.

let's all pray for duante culpepper and terrell owens to have big days...then maybe i'll win my fantasy football game!


I'm addicted to the shins, and not just b/c they are in the movie garden state. My bro thinks the whole album sounds like whining, but this is also the guy who went to see bon jovi in concert.



here are the lyrics to young pilgrims...i have to say i have zero idea what they mean...




A cold and wet November dawn
And there are no barking sparrows
Just emptiness to dwell upon.

I fell into a winter slide
And ended up the kind of kid who goes down chutes too narrow
Just eking out my measly pies.

But I learned fast how to keep my head up 'cause I
Know there is this side of me that
Wants to grab the yoke from the pilot and just
Fly the whole mess into the sea.

Another slow train to the coast
Some brand new gory art from way on high
I sink and then I swim all night.

I watch the ice melt on the glass
While the eloquent young pilgrims pass
And leave behind their trail
Imploring us not to fail.

Of course I raised to gather courage from those
Lofty tales so tried and true and
If you're able I'd suggest it 'cause this
Modern thought can get the best of you.

This rather simple epitaph can save your hide your falling mind
Fate isn't what we're up against there's no design no flaws to find
There's no design no flaws to find.

But I learned fast how to keep my head up 'cause I
Know I got this side of me that
Wants to grab the yoke from the pilot and just
Fly the whole mess into the sea.

So I Have Them...

So the new glasses are dope. I'm kind of looking smart these days....me looksa intelligentsia!

So it's settled that one of my Clients is a crack addict. They actually call her CW (Crack whore)...and she kind of has that ashy skin, like dave chappelle when he plays tyrone biggums...i can't just say doctor in a brochure, i have to say prescribing physician...which is odd, b/c their prescribing physician is the one who gave them the brochure (and of course, is their doctor!).

i had something poignant to say, but now i can't remember.

San Demas High school football rules!

glasses

A little bit of a hectic day, but a good one none the less, well i guess it is b/c i'm getting my new glasses.

I never thought the day would come, but i've sort of become a fashion snob. Sort of. I mean, i didnt get the Prada glasses b/c they were Prada (although i think that's why Amma wanted me to get them). but they looked the coolest. Who cares if they were $500? (ok, not that much).

Let's just give praise to Flexible Spending.

Frozen Fracture

Jackayy says she thinks she might have broken her coccyx...in honor of that, here's my story....

Here's an embarrassing story: I went to visit one of my best friends during a break from school. I had the intention of coming home with a hangover; instead, I came home with a broken ass. It's not what you think.

I haven't checked, but I think there's some unwritten rule among close friends that says when you go to visit someone, you're required to get ridiculously drunk, be as obnoxious as possible, and eat everything imaginable.

I'm not sure what's more embarrassing: how it happened, or the fact that it did happen. I should've listened to my friend, (who for confidentiality reasons we'll call Ronald Reagan), who even through his alcoholic haze (6-7 Long Island Iced Teas, the verdict is still pending), was smart enough to keep away from a certain blonde psychopath who frequented his housemate's room. The girl had a cute face, but a penchant for violence.

I don't even remember the whole incident but the end result was this large breasted vixen pushed me off balance into the frame of my friend's bed. Always thoughtful, Mr. Reagan gave me frozen peas to ice my derriere.

It took me about 4 days to realize that something was seriously wrong. I was on a date seeing The Matrix , and about half way through the movie I started turning and moving, unable to sit still. The difference this time was that this was due to pain, and not some other behavioral problem my lawyers won't let me talk about. I began to realize that one moment of drunken rage by some crazy blonde girl on ecstasy may have injured more than just my ego. In case you were wondering, I waited until the movie ended to go to the hospital.

As if the whole situation wasn't embarrassing enough…Imagine spending your last semester of college on your side, caught in a veil of painkillers, which isn't all that bad, and having to carry around a donut pillow so you can actually sit during your classes. When my friends and I would go out drinking I used to make girls hide the donut in their purse, and then I would sneak it into a seat. Ironically, it seems there's some old law in Pennsylvania that says every bar has to have wooden benches.
Since the whole "incident," talking with Ronald Reagan, or any of his ex-cabinet members, results in a little joke or comment about how darn funny the whole thing was. I'm laughing, really. (Dirty sons of…)

Thank God it's almost spring. Much like an old person's knees ache when it rains, if the thermometer drops below zero I can't pass wind. Thank God I was blessed with a sense of humor.

Life is always ironic, and this weekend I went skiing, while Reagan went snowboarding. In a twist of poetic justice, I'm writing this from the Emergency Room of a hospital in Vermont, where dear Mr. Reagan is being treated for what I believe is a broken coccyx.
Talk to you later, I have to go home and see if I can locate that pillow.

Thersday

930 am on thursday.

Nothing new to report. Played poker last night and lost money again to people who have no idea what they are doing. Which makes me think the way to win is to forget everything i know, and then i know everything. Very zen like...i tried to do that at work, but that didnt go over well, when i suggested this new slogan for VIAGRA.

VIAGRA: it makes you hard.

Now, my instincts would tell me never to say that, but i did...and well, now i'm the custodial engineer here...which reminds me i have to give back my computer, dammit!

Till later.